First Consultation at University of Utah. August 17, 2011

Before the consultation:

So today we are going to the U to meet with Dr. Peterson about In-Vitro (IVF). It’s kind of exciting, kind of scary…mostly the unknowns that drive me crazy. It’s also a day we’ve talked a lot about and may be the beginning of a different life for us. We’ll see what he says and go from there. In the last few days we’ve also been introduced to another physician at a fertility clinic in Provo. He has successfully helped this friend of ours with their last three pregnancies, resulting in four babies (yes, twins). Our friend had only good things to say about this clinic and was very positive. So, that option has thrown a monkey wrench into all our thinking. I have mixed thoughts; knowing that the U is a state-of-the-art facility with some of the best physicians and research available. However, they are expensive. This other clinic advertises better results at a lower cost, but is that true and do I trust them? I guess the only way to know is to meet with both doctors and experience both clinics before making a choice. I need the details and feelings to all be right. It doesn’t change our choice to proceed with IVF, but we want the best outcomes and safety first, and then a smaller price would be nice too. This will have to be a prayerful decision. We want to get it right

There’s someone else I have to remember through this whole thing…and that’s Brooklyn. She totally knows something is up, and we’ve just started talking to her about the actual decisions and doctors in the past week or so. She gets all nervous and embarrassed when you start talking about babies. It’s kind of funny. I think the possibility of having a baby around is exciting for her. She loves her little cousins and other kids, and who doesn’t love sweet little babies? But, she also knows it will throw her little world upside down. Last night as I was helping her get ready for bed she says, “I don’t want us to have a baby.” She was kind of shy about it and wouldn’t tell me why. Just as this is crazy for us adults, I’m sure it’s crazy for her. I have to keep her feelings in the front of my mind and seek guidance to know how to best help her. Our family will change dramatically if this works…and Brooklyn will have a whole new role and responsibility as the big sister. Again, exciting and scary at the same time!  What does the future hold?

After the Consultation:

I never thought I would say this, but I have such a sense of comfort and joy right now. After a long day of driving and meeting with nurses and the doctor, I am sure about moving forward. Jerry and I met at the U of U in Clinic 4 to see Dr Peterson. I always find it interesting to walk through other hospitals, and even more interesting to walk down the hall as a patient…very weird. I like being the nurse, not the patient.  The nurse had lots of questions about our health, history, and past fertility experiences. Then, the doctor walked in and shook our hands. Of course, I felt like a monkey in a cage at the zoo…everyone looking at and focused on you. After a few more questions the nurse left and Dr Peterson sat down on the table to start the discussion. He’s probably about my dad’s age, has a few grandchildren, and has been studying/practicing in the field of infertility for about 30yrs. He was very professional, yet personable. He had obviously given this speech before, and clearly explained the process, expectations, percentages and time schedules. He agreed that seven years was a long time to have not had any success. But, he thanked me for being healthy and coming in while I was young…two good things on my side. He was not shy about the risks, things they had learned from past experiences, and the uncomfortable things that we will experience. He also explained the many checks and balances and research at the hospital that help create one of the best IVF facilities in the nation. He then discussed the personalized plan for us. He agreed with my previous physicians that there is no real explanation for our infertility. According to his interpretation of our previous tests, things were normal, just not successful. He agreed that our best chances of having a baby would be with IVF. He explained the medications, one more test to complete at his office in the next few weeks, and a few blood tests to be done in Ogden with our regular OB. He wants us to screen for Cystic Fibrosis and something else that had an acronym. He also gave me a prescription for “birth control pills” that helps regulate everything according to the calendar….pretty soon, everything will be scheduled according to “the calendar.”  Sounds like that will be our Bible for a little while. We asked a few questions about risks and safety, his estimation of costs and success, and when we can get started. It was actually Jerry who asked how soon we can start. I was a little bit shocked. There was an energy in the room, though, and it was exciting to actually talk and make a plan, not just think and guess about it. I was impressed with Dr Peterson and felt comfortable with the information he presented.

On a more serious note, the most important thing is that Jerry and I both felt a confirmation that this is the right place to be. I mentioned before that even today we were planning on visiting a second doctor—just to address another option. But, while sitting in the room and speaking with Dr Peterson, those concerns and thoughts of needing to look elsewhere disappeared. My concerns about safety, best practices, and ethics were addressed and no longer an issue while sitting there. And, the estimated amount of $13,000 became manageable in my mind as it was confirmed to me that this is the place to be. I didn’t need to question, I just knew it was the right place and the right person. While walking down the hallway out of the clinic I looked at Jerry and said, “So, what do you want to do?”  He replied, “Cancel the appointment in Provo next Thursday.” Again, I was shocked, but he too had felt the comfort and reassurance that the U is where we need to be. No questions asked. And, when Jerry has a thought or feeling about something, it doesn’t change. We are on the same page.

So, after 7years and a few weeks of anticipation, the consultation is over, and we have a plan to move forward. We can start as early as September, if we choose. We feel the momentum of so many prayers, thoughts, and love from our dear family and friends. That’s the wind in our sails encouraging us and giving us hope and belief. There is still a little apprehension knowing that IVF is “the big, great experiment,” as the doctor stated. However, I feel a renewed sense of calm, excitement, and peace today. I am not worried about the unknowns. I feel a burden lifted from my shoulders and a new sense of direction.  I also know there are so many cheerleaders on our side, and that’s the best part.