TWINS…who would have thought!?!
Oh wow! I know the word has already been spread abroad, but it’s time for an update about the great news we received last week. After having positive test results a few weeks ago, we waited anxiously to actually see what was happening. The numbers were promising, but I wanted to see something on the ultrasound screen to prove that it really wasn’t a dream! It was an exciting day…
My appointment wasn’t until the afternoon at 1:00. That being the case, we of course love to eat, and arranged a lunch date with our good friend Rich Abby. Rich and Jerry have been friends for a long while, as Rich used to be in the roofing industry. Rich has Lou Gehrig’s disease. We’ve had several wonderful experiences with Rich over the past few years as he has required increased physical help to do some of the things he loves. We enjoy spending time with him and helping him, and Jerry especially has a soft place in his heart for Rich. Rich, along with so many others, has also played an integral role in some of the financial blessings that have allowed us to experience InVitro. So, it was only appropriate that we met him for lunch, near his home and the clinic, prior to hearing the news. Rich struggles with the simple tasks of life such as walking, eating, and speaking. It was so humbling to be with him for a little while and remember how very blessed we have been. We were experiencing miracles, and yet he was so happy for us and supportive even though his world is deteriorating. It was a solemn moment, but a great moment to once again be grateful for so many blessings. It would have been wonderful to enjoy time with each person who has helped make this possible for us.
I must say that I was still cautiously optimistic about the results. I was excited and hoping that things were perfect and wonderful. But, at the same time, I was cautious about being disappointed. I know I should have more faith. I try. But, after being disappointed for many years, and after investing so much time, emotion, and money, I felt like I needed to prepare my heart and mind for all the possibilities. A survival technique, you might say. The ‘chemical’ pregnancy and the ‘confirmed’ pregnancy were a big difference in my head. I’ve been there before after having a positive test and then feeling the awkward silence when there was no heartbeat on the ultrasound. I didn’t want to experience that again. I wanted so much to believe that ‘multiples’ as the nurse said earlier was true, but I wanted also to not be shocked if the ultrasound showed nothing. I tear myself up inside sometimes trying to balance faith, hope, and possible reality. I was comforted somewhat by the fact that the program we were part of ensured a second IVF cycle if this was not a confirmed pregnancy. But, I was also reminded that we have done all we can, we had been so very blessed thus far, and we can expect the Lord to continue to bless us. We had transferred two embryos knowing that both may not work. I was hoping for a least one sweet little baby, and that would be enough to make our dreams come true.
The appointment was with Dr Hammoud. I’ve actually seen him the most through the whole process, so it was probably appropriate that he would be the one to tell us the official news. We checked in, they actually offered to bill our insurance (wow…finally!), and we again waited for only a few minutes. I must say how impressed I’ve been with the efficiency at the clinic! We then were taken to a part of the clinic we’d never been to before. Instead of being on the IVF side of the clinic, we were now part of the OB clients. That was an interesting but positive thought. The assistant set us up in the room and I asked some questions about how they determine the due date and such. She warned me that Dr Hammoud was just starting a procedure and would be a little while. She was right. We waited about 30 minutes. That was kind of a long wait. We were anxious. He finally walked in with the nurse and shook our hands. He reviewed the chart and said that I was 6 weeks and 4 days along. They have some fancy addition and calendar trick to come up with the estimated days. Since he knew exactly the retrieval and transfer day, he was pretty sure of where we were. They’re so smart. He’s a nice doctor…very calm, quiet, and yet reassuring. He was smiling, and I think he too was a little excited to see what all this hard work was about to reveal.
As he started the ultrasound, I immediately recognized two little dark spots on the screen. I’m not very ultrasound savvy, but I was guessing that the dark spots were fluid. The doctor panned back and forth. There were little white spots inside the dark spots. Finally, in his quiet accented voice, Dr Hammoud said, “Well, congratulations. You have two little babies here. Baby A and Baby B.” That was one of the most surreal moments I’ve had for a long time. He panned to each baby and showed us the little fluttering heartbeat of each. On the screen it wasn’t more than half a pencil eraser, but big enough to see the little heartbeats. There they were…the babies we have waited so long to see. He measured them. Each was measuring exactly 6 weeks and 4 days. He measured the fluids, ovaries, and other things to make sure things were normal. He then switched something on the machine and started looking for the heartbeats again. We could hear the swooshing, and when he got to the exact spot, this little heart was just beating strong and solid. That is every expectant mother’s favorite sound. It was almost unbelievable. He measured the rate and intensity, and things were looking great. Oh, but wait…there was another heartbeat to listen to! He scanned to Baby B, and again, swooshing and beating. Music to my ears. It was so amazing to think that those were our little babies! We were seeing and hearing things we thought we may never hear or see. I just wanted to keep watching and listening. Even today, I can picture that moment and feel the way I did that day—so amazed, so grateful, and so humble. A little scared…but so excited. The heartbeats were normal and Dr Hammoud seemed pleased with the way everything looked. He was able to get a picture with both babies in the same frame, and its now hanging on our fridge…reminding us of the miracles we are blessed with.
Dr Hammoud is one you have to listen to carefully. That day he was the most animated I’ve ever seen him. I got a kick out of watching him see the results of all his hard work. It must be rewarding for them to give hope and miracles to families. He had some good things to say and was reassuring about the future of the pregnancy. He was kind of funny, too. My favorite lines from him were when he said, “Right now it’s Baby A and Baby B. You can change their names after they are born.” The best was when he said, “Oh that’s so beautiful. I am so happy for you.” His accent made it just great. And, a personal favorite, “You did it! Congratulations. And…you are making our numbers look really good.” I love that we are helping their statistics! However, I did have to acknowledge that we only followed their directions. That moment was a reminder that without the medical minds and knowledge, we wouldn’t be there having that moment. We were dependent upon others for this whole journey and wonderful outcome. I keep saying it, but we had a wonderful experience. So, when he said that we are finished there, and to see my regular doctor as soon as I could, I was a little sad. I enjoyed the hour long drives back and forth while talking with Jerry. I enjoyed the progress we were making each week. And, the experiences we were having were positive and encouraging. So, I will miss the UCRM for now. Who knows, maybe we’ll be back there again some day for some reason. Together we had accomplished exactly what we set out to do. It was a little bit like finishing a great book or movie…exciting adventures and happy endings, yet a little sad that it’s over. We are on to another exciting adventure, though.
We are still very prayerful that things continue to go well, though. For some reason all the science and medication was a weird form of comfort that we were in ‘control’ and could manage and predict things. Now, after I finish the progesterone shots in mid December, it’s all up to Mother Nature and the divine plans for our family. Again, I’m trying to have faith and trust in the plan for us. Heavenly Father has blessed us so greatly, and things have gone so well. Hopefully these babies will continue to grow and develop well and my body will be a happy place for them.
Looking back, that was the best day. Sometimes I wonder why we have been so blessed. That was the sweetest moment Jerry and I have had together for a while. We’ve had lots of sweet and memorable moments together, especially lately, but this was incredible. The moment we’ve waited to have for seven years! There are always a few moments that top the list of great things…getting married, the birth of your children…and this was one of those great moments.
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