Follow the "Heart The Hartmanns Project" as Katy, Jerry, and Brooklyn seek to add to their family. After 7 years of trying, some economic set backs, and doing absolutely everything they possibly can, the Hartmann family is ready for your help and participation. Use this blog to join in fundraising efforts, read the latest Hartmann news, and hopefully hear big announcements. Be a part of this great opportunity and "Heart The Hartmanns" by giving them your love and support.
48 Hours!
June 22...37 weeks...48 hrs to go!
So, it's Friday afternoon, and these babies are scheduled to be born on Sunday! I seriously can't believe it. About a year ago, Jerry and I started talking about this whole InVitro process and thinking about whether or not we should do it. Well, we did it, thanks to so much help from so many people, and here we are. It's crazy to think that these next few days are the culmination of all the thoughts, doctor visits, finances, emotions, bed rest, and other preparations we've experienced. It's the most exciting part of the whole experience. I have some mixed emotions. I'm of course excited to finally have these babies here--we've waited many years. But, I'm also going to miss the anticipation, the baby "kicks" and the little moments of excitement that have come with this journey. I know that will all be replaced with the busy, and yet exciting, days and nights of caring for two newborns. I feel like it's a chapter of this journey that's ending, and a new chapter of excitement is about to begin.
Yesterday we had our final visit in the office with Dr Hartman. It was another non-stress test and the babies behaved very well. They were both reactive fairly quickly...telling me they are ready to enter the world :) Last Monday we had another ultrasound and things again looked normal. He didn't measure them on Monday, which I was a little disappointed about, but I guess it will be a big surprise as to how big they are at birth. My guess is about 5 1/2 lbs each....we'll see if mommy knows what she's talking about! It was official on Thursday that we are scheduled for a c-section on Sunday, June 24th at 12:00 noon. We need to be at the hospital at 10:00 for preparations. Grandma and Grandpa will be staying with Brooklyn that morning and will then bring her to meet her brother and sister! The c-section option has really been an internal struggle for my brain lately. With the one baby staying in the breech position for so long, I pretty much had made up my mind that a c-section would be best. Jerry and I talked about it and decided to just go in that direction. Well, as children often do, little baby girl decided to change things up and turn sideways and then turned all the way head down. Now, a normal delivery seemed much more doable. So, for a few days I kept trying to talk myself into or out of and justify one way or the other. Was I taking the easy way out if I chose one over the other? Would it be safer or better one way or the other? Am I a better mother one way or the other? It just about drove me crazy. The doctor did say that on Saturday night she might be facing one way and be turned around again on Sunday, so there is no real way to guarantee anything. Jerry is much better at making a decision and not looking back. I, on the other hand, always second guess myself and rethink my decisions. There are risks and benefits to each mode of delivery. I wished someone would just tell me what to do. In the end, Jerry and I decided that we both feel less stress for the babies during the delivery is what we desire most. Plus, to keep my brain from going crazy, we decided to keep the c-section plan and appointment and make it official. Having a date on the calendar has helped me prepare my mind. I'm totally a "put it on the calendar" kind of girl and like having it on the family schedule :) I guess I'll never know which decision is the "right" decision, but I feel good about our current plan and hope all turns out well. My friends and family who have been in similar situations have given me all their good advice...they all survived, so I guess I will too :) The babies might be a little shocked as they enter the world abruptly, leaving their nice home of 9 months, but I hope it will be a happy birthday for our two little monkeys.
I have been thinking a lot about the family changes that will take place. In all honesty, this is a huge change for us--an exciting change, but a huge one! The other night we took Brooklyn to a movie and we wondered if it would be the last time we go out as a family of three. For a while we were convinced that we would always be a family of three. And, at one point, we were all happy with that. Now, as the birth of the twins is very much a reality, I think there will be days we miss our little family of three...as excited as we are to have these babies. But, we've been used to being able to go where and when we want. Nobody needs a diaper bag or a nap. We've made a pretty good threesome for many years. I think about the changes that Brooklyn is experiencing and will continue to experience. I want to make sure she feels loved, important, and unique as we expand our family. I let her pick out the clothes and blankets to bring the babies home from the hospital in. She's helped me pack the diaper bags and wash and fold the clothes. She likes to hug and pat my tummy. She's been a good sport and seems excited. I'm sure she feels a little bit sad too, as her relationships are about to change. I'm trying to keep her in the front of my mind to include her, love her, and help her adjust. Tomorrow will be our last day as a family of three. We're going to see a "Brooklyn movie," eat dinner where she wants to eat, and then spend the evening looking through her baby book and talking about the great day when she was born. She has some 'big sister' shirts and plans to have a movie night in the hospital with me. I think there will be lots of excitement and joy, but I anticipate some moments of emotion also. So, again, its a bag of mixed emotions as we anticipate the big changes to come in the next few days.
On the other hand, we've worked and waited for these sweet babies for a long time, and they are joining our family in less than two days! I still can't believe this is happening. So many friends and family are just as excited as we are about welcoming these little ones. They have hoped, cried, prayed, sacrificed, and waited along with us. We've experienced so many miracles along the way. We've had great moments of elatement and joy. To think that it's all happening now is overwhelming and emotional. I picture in my mind the moment I get to hold the babies we've dreamed of for more than seven years...it's amazing to dream about, and I know it will be amazing to experience. I hope I can absorb it all and enjoy every moment. We've had a lot of great moments as a family, and I think this will be one of the greatest...a family of five, with more and more love to share!
Countdown begins
35 Weeks:
The weeks are ticking by and I think we are in the final stretch until these babies are born! My body is certainly feeling ready to be free of the extra annoyances, but I'm also hoping to hang in there a little bit longer in order to give the babies a little more time. My personal goal was to make it to 36 weeks, and we are almost there. Anything past that, I feel, is a bonus. There was a time when the goal was to make it past 32 weeks, so I'm happy with how well everyone is behaving :)
I have a nice, round belly that is obviously ready to 'pop' and I love to hear what people have to say. In every elevator, or at the check out line, someone has to ask when my baby is due. When we go out as a family, I love to watch peoples' eyes leave my face and lock onto the beach ball I have under my shirt. I can imagine they are quite entertained, and I can almost hear their thoughts of wonder..."wow...when is she going to have that baby!?" The other night we went to a movie and Jerry said the security guard watched me waddle around in hopes I didn't go into labor while he was on duty. My favorite thing is when people ask me how I'm feeling. If you've seen the movie "What to Expect When You're Expecting," then you'll appreciate the monologue the lady gives on stage with her borrowed clothes and ratty hair--telling the truth about pregnancy. She got it exactly right! Name a body part, and there's probably something wrong with it :) But, without disclosing all my woes to people who ask, I say I'm doing well and things are going great. It really is mostly true. I know people are interested in things and are sincere in their inquiries, but if I had a nickel for every question, I'd be rich. Jerry said I should start handing out treats to those who ask me a question I haven't been asked before. The other night Brooklyn said, "I'm tired of people asking me if I'm excited to be a sister and if I'm going to be a big helper!" I loved it... It comes with the territory I told her, and she liked Dad's idea of handing out treats. It's fun, though, and I do appreciate peoples' concern and excitement.
The babies are doing well. We had the biophysical profile with the ultrasound tech, Katie, and she found everything to be looking just fine. We chose to take Brooklyn with us to the ultrasound. She's always said she doesn't want to go because it's boring (or maybe she's just afraid of the unknown), but we dragged her with us anyway. I thought she should experience a trip to the doctor at least once before they're born. Something like this might not happen again. She's seen a few ultrasound pictures in the past and watched the video from a while go, but there's nothing like watching a heartbeat or movement in real time on the screen. We got a beautiful shot of their feet and a perfect footprint for the camera. I'm sure it wasn't exactly thrilling for Brooklyn, but I'm glad she got to have the experience. The blood flow in the cords was normal. We could also see them "practice" breathing and moving those muscles in preparation for birth. Those were two good signs. Katie measured the babies to be about the same size of 4lb 12oz each. Baby Boy has a little bit bigger head and smaller belly, and Baby Girl has a little bit smaller head and bigger belly. According to Katie, they average out to be about the same weight. It will be interesting to see how close to the same weight they really are at birth. They are currently in the same positions--boy all stretched out on my right side, head down, and girl curled up on the left with bum down. The amniotic fluid is starting to decrease and the placentas are beginning to age. This happened with Brooklyn about this same time and low fluid volume is why the doctor delivered her 10 days early. Dr Hartman doesn't seem too alarmed at this point, but continues to measure fluid levels every week. So far, there's "enough" as he says. Twice a week we are doing non-stress tests in the office. I still haven't figured out exactly why twice a week is necessary, but that's the doc's plan. The babies are becoming more and more reactive as they get older and that's good. It's still crazy and fun to hear their heartbeats, the hiccups, or when they move. It's very reassuring. The boy continues to be more active and has a faster heart rate most of the time. The girl is more quiet and has a little slower heart rate. It will be interesting to see if this matches their personalities in the future. Now the problem is choosing how I want to deliver. Basically, with the one breech baby, I can choose whether to attempt a normal delivery and hope the breech delivery goes well, or schedule a c-section. Neither way sounds super fun, but I think we're leaning towards a c-section. I'm sure it will be harder for mom and maybe I'll eat my words later, but I'm hoping it will be more predictable and less stressful for the babies. It's like choosing the lesser of two evils and gambling in Vegas, but we're most interested in keeping the babies as safe as possible. The new plan is to do a c-section at 37 weeks or an induction at 38 weeks...hmmmmm. Decisions, decisions.]
The baby's room is (hopefully) ready for these two little ones. They have cribs, plenty of blankets, boxes of diapers, clothes and pajamas, bottles and bottle warmers, bath supplies, bouncers, boppies, car seats, a pack n' play, and I think just about everything else a baby needs. I forgot how much stuff they require! We've been so humbled and grateful for the donations of clothes, supplies, and gifts from others. Again, we have the best family and friends ever! And, we've doubled up on many of the supplies knowing two will use lots of stuff. Diapers seem to be Jerry's purchase of choice, and we're stocking up and stuffing boxes under the bed. The little clothes are so cute and I can just picture little diapered bums in them. I'm sure there will be items we've forgotten or find we need more of, but I think we are ready to welcome them to the world soon and kiss and love and cuddle them. Just a few more weeks...aahhh! When I think about the reality of sleepless nights, feedings, and the changes to our pretty quiet life we will all experience, I'm a little scared. I really don't think reality has hit me yet. It's been so long and they are currently so self-contained that I'm not sure they are really mine and it's all actually true. It really is a surreal feeling. I wonder what it will be like when they hand them to me to hold for the first time. It seriously doesn't feel real. I'm anxious, nervous, and excited. However, we've waited a long time, so....let's do this!
Brooklyn has a few words....
I am so exited for these babies to come. I can't wait to see what they look like.If i could name them i would name them Amanda and Luke. We have lots of boy clothes and not as many girl clothes. I wish they could come sooner!
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