Today was the first of my
now weekly visits with the doc. I have a feeling it might get a little
repetitive, but who doesn’t like the reassurance of an ultrasound each week to
check on things? I’m thinking I’ll really
like that part of it. Jerry had some previously scheduled work meetings today
so he was unable to go with me. I waited quite a while today in the room
waiting for Dr Hartman, and when he did come in he was in a hurry to get to a
c-section delivery. He did ultrasounds
and everything looked great. The babies are getting bigger, they are sharing
the fluid nicely, and the heartbeats are healthy. He seemed pleased. He took
some standard cultures then had the nurse draw some blood. Pretty much a
routine check…just grateful things are stable and happy!
Monday, April 23—28 weeks
I think I have a standing
appointment on Mondays at 11:00 now. J Mondays roll around pretty fast. During the past week I spent several hours on
the phone with the insurance company, hospital billing department, and the
doctor’s office trying to sort out bills from the two visits we made to the
hospital. I’m grateful to have insurance, but sometimes I get frustrated with
the whole process. It’s kind of like paying taxes to the government, in my
mind…I’m happy to pay what I need to, but don’t want to do anyone else any
favors. J
After paying so much cash to the University of Utah, I’m anxious to let
the insurance coverage take over! I also got a call from the office to start on
amoxicillin for a positive culture from the previous Monday. There’s always a
little surprise it seems. I had a day of
skills lab at work and we also had our ward youth conference this weekend.
Jerry and Brooklyn helped me a ton! It’s been a busy week! Lets just say it was
a little difficult to get all six hours of bed rest in each day…I may have
cheated a little. But today was another good visit. Jerry came with me,
obviously needing a break from work (he even left his phone in the truck!), and
we enjoyed being together. Dr Hartman
was in a particularly jovial mood. Sometimes I’m shocked at the stuff he says!
The ultrasounds were good. The babies are in a little bit different position
than I thought. Baby boy is still head down with feet up on the right, and baby
girl is now making a triangle. Her head is by his feet with her back and bum
going sideways and down the left side. They aren’t quite the “t” they
originally were positioned in, nor are they parallel up and down to each other.
They just look and feel squished to me! The heartbeats each looked healthy and
I was kind of surprised at how big these kids looked on the screen. Hopefully
that explains my almost 30lb weight gain! Don’t want to talk about that though!
My blood count was a little low, so in two weeks he’ll re-culture things to see
how the antibiotic worked and redraw my blood. Good thing I’m going every
week…seems like there’s plenty to do. But, babies are happy, my body is
cooperating for now, and I’m now officially the size of a beach ball…what more
could we ask for!?
Monday, April 30—29 weeks
Once again we found
ourselves at the doctor’s office this morning. I wonder if Dr Hartman is
getting sick of seeing us every Monday J Monday at 11:00 is our moment. Jerry’s been
so great to take time from his busy work days to be with me at the
appointments. Lately he’s been making more and more comments about how ‘real’
this is getting and the reality check that’s coming! I love having him with me.
Today was a pretty routine
appointment. I officially passed the 30lb mark today. It was a proud moment,
let me tell ya. My goal is to not pass up Jerry’s weight. J Dr Hartman again had on his bright red tennis
shoes. I think he owns nothing but red shoes. He plays tennis 6 days a week and
he says his red shoes make him fast. He’s quite a guy. Once again things were
looking good. My cervix is shrinking a little bit each time, but that is
expected now. Most importantly, the babies are looking healthy and are growing.
He did growth measurements again today and the babies are right on schedule. Baby boy measured 2lb13oz and baby girl
measured 3lbs 1oz. That is a switch from the past where usually the boy is
bigger than the girl. Measurements are usually a little off, so we estimate
they are both somewhere between 2 ½ and 3lbs. That may explain why I feel so
squished inside. Brooklyn was born at 6lb1oz at just 10 days early. I’m feeling
about the size I was when she was born.
But, these babies have a little more cooking time.
We discussed the delivery
timing and options today. That made it a little more real. We still have a
little ways to go, but the doc wanted to get us thinking. If both babies were
head down, he would most likely attempt a regular delivery. There would be a
small risk of delivering the first baby head first and then the second
‘falling’ sideways and having to be delivered breech. As long as there is not a
significant size difference, he feels confident in doing this. If both babies
were head up, there would be no option and a c-section would be necessary.
Well, of course, we have one in each position. That puts us in the middle. We could try a regular delivery for the first
and then see if the second will come breech or need a c-section in the end. Or,
we could just plan on a c-section. Neither option sounds fun to me. But, I also
don’t want to do half and half! Of course it’s a little early to make a
decision now because they may change positions still. So, we’ll see what
happens in the meantime. He did give us some estimated dates of delivery also.
If I can go to ‘full term’ time, he said he would start me no later than two
weeks ahead of the due date (July 14) for a regular delivery, and would deliver
three weeks ahead for a c-section. That would put their birthday in mid-late
June. Sometimes that sounds far away, and sometimes that sounds way too close!
It’s getting exciting to think how soon they’ll be here. We want a few more
weeks until they are ready, but after that…let the games begin!
Monday, May 7—30 weeks
It must be a Monday. Today
is one of those occasional days when I feel tired, emotional, and
frustrated. I think it stems from the
bed rest that I am truly getting sick of. I’ll admit, there are some days when
I have to stretch to get those six hours, but some days I just don’t want to do
it—or feel I don’t have time to do it. I know that’s the wrong attitude, and
it’s a minimal obligation for such a reward, but still, I’m pretty much done
with it. I like being useful and doing the things that I am ‘supposed’ to do,
even if it is those mundane tasks of laundry, cooking, or cleaning. That’s what
a mom does, and that’s what I want to do. (Of course, you don’t hear me saying
that about going to work, but you get the point). For instance, today I got up and got
Brooklyn ready for school, cleaned up breakfast, got myself ready for the day,
and then headed to the doctor…again. On a good day, getting to and from the
doctor is no less than a two hour event, so by the time I got home it was
12:30. I eat lunch, straighten a few
things, change one load of laundry (didn’t even fold anything) and made the
bed…basic items of life. There’s at
least a minimum standard of living that’s necessary for my conscience. By the
time I start to lay down it’s 45 min later and the countdown begins. But six hours from then is clear to almost
bed time. 2 ½ hrs after my down time begins, Brooklyn is home from school. I
feel so sorry for the girl. Every day she comes home from school and her mom is
laying on the couch. How fun is that for her? We can do some homework and a few
things while I am down, but I feel like such a loaf sometimes and think she
must be tired of it too. I can’t go out and play, watch her ride her bike, or
help her spray paint her ‘limousine’ for the drive in movie at school. Nope,
her mom is laying on the couch. Of course I know it’s necessary and, again,
such a small moment in time for the health of these babies, but I feel torn
inside. I want to take the best care of these babies that I can, but I also
want to care for the ones I love who are here.
And, of course, when Jerry walks in from work, I’m on the couch. It’s a
nice welcome home moment. They both understand the purpose and know it’s not
just because I’m trying to be lazy, but I feel like I’ve lost the wife/mom side
of me and am now just a couch sitter. I think I get a little cabin fever, too.
Staring at the same walls, doing the same stuff, making the same lists of
things I want to do—or need to have someone else do—all gets to my head a
little bit. Another thing I wish I could
do more of is take care of those ‘nesting’ instincts mothers have before their
babies are born. I’d love to feel like the baby room is totally and completely
ready for them to come home to. Little by little it’s coming along, but I’m
missing the days of dedicated baby organizing and decorating. Of course, I’m not sleeping very well at night
now and am starting to get somewhat uncomfortable, so I think sometimes all
these feelings are exaggerated by fatigue. Plus, I hear pregnant women are
hormonal and emotional anyway J Am I complaining…probably…ok, yes. Do I just feel like I need to vent…for sure.
I know this is really a very small second in time and there is such a great
reward to come. I have to realign my focus and priorities every once in a
while, and I guess today is one of those days to do so. And, Jerry and Brooklyn
are so good to help. They are patient when we have leftovers for the third day
in a row or when I give them a list of things I think they should do. They
deserve a lot more thanks and praise than what I give them. This is really
testing all of us and helping us to appreciate, learn, serve, cooperate, and
love more. I try to think of those who have an illness or disease, who are
hoping to get better just so they can live and be with their family, or who
face an unknown future of health. I feel guilty for being so selfish in my
thoughts. How blessed I am to say that my complaints are such minimal
inconveniences. My future holds two sweet,
little babies to love who will fill our lives with so much joy. I guess this is one of those unforeseen
lessons I need to learn in this process. I need to remember my blessings,
forget my complaints, and focus on all the great opportunities and people that
allow me such a privileged and wonderful life.
I truly am blessed.
As a matter of business,
things at the doctor went well today. Babies still look good and healthy. He
did not measure them for growth this time. He redid some of the cultures from a
few weeks ago and drew another blood count.
He said, “Next week you get to have a 31 week party.” I asked what that meant. His philosophy is
that after 31 weeks the chances of problems before and at delivery are the same
as at full term. So, I think that’s a good thing. Of course the best thing is
to let them grow as long as possible, but it’s a good milestone. I think after
32 weeks I’ll feel even better about their outcome. Every week counts. Guess
that means I should stick to my bed rest and stop complaining J
Monday, May 14—31 weeks
Once again, a Monday
morning visit with Dr Hartman. We had a good visit and things are progressing
well. We cheered for reaching the 31 week mark. He feels that after 31 weeks,
the survival and successful birth outcomes are equal to those of a full term
baby. So, I think that’s good news, and I feel a little less worried about
delivering early. Hartman also seemed happy with the progression and health of
the babies. Jerry asked his estimation of how long until delivery and Hartman
says he’d expect I could go as far as 37 weeks. That’s 6 more weeks! Not ready
for babies yet, but getting ready to not be pregnant J Anyway, he
seemed very happy with the ways things are going. Again the ultrasounds were
reassuring and babies looked good. Next week he is planning to do measurements
again and do a non-stress test (NST) in the office. The NST is simple and includes
putting both babies on the monitor to watch for heart rates and their
reactivity. That will be a fun part of the day next week. He continues to want
the bed rest, but there is now a different goal in mind. He says now the goal
is to create fatter babies. Although we still want to postpone delivery as long
as possible, bigger babies usually do better. So, I’m now an incubator trying
to fatten them up into healthy babies for when they are born. I’m hoping that by next week they’ll be
around 4lbs each. They are still in the same position as before—one with his
head way low, and the other with her head high and to the right. Needless to
say, the upper right corner of my belly is being punished on a daily basis with
all the feet and head activity in one spot. I still love to feel them move.
There are a few more odds and ends to purchase before they come, but I think we
are almost ready for them. Well, at least we’re almost ready with the
‘stuff’…not sure if we’ll ever be ready mentally! We’ve had several people give
us gifts to help us get prepared— so many generous friends and family. After getting rid of literally everything
baby we ever owned, its been quite eye-opening to remember all the things
babies need…wow! What’s cuter than baby
stuff, though? A few more weeks of cooking time and I think we’ll all be ready!
